the one thing i can't stand is when people don't listen to me ... or don't beleive me especially when im right and i know i am
... it really fucks me off
Friday, 13 August 2010
how could i?
Im really annoyed at myself … how could i have made myself become dependant on receiving messages from a boy … well call him JIM. So yer me and Jim were really good friends he kind of lead me on i really liked him and finally told him so… with this news he said like he liked me. A few weeks later he tells me he has a girlfriend … i was ll very shocked and like what to this news.
This next bit makes me sound bitter and jealous which im not but in all my surprise was like oh you never told me i guess its cause of like how we haven’t spoken in a while cause i haven’t text you or spoke to you on fb … so that night i decided to cut contact. I just got really pissed off with how it always had to be me to send the first text of the first comment - also niggling comment my friend had made and the face she pulled when i said i always text first (this was a different guy} and yer this comment and look has stayed with me and to be fair always makes me very insecure.
What with no contact I was happy and all self assured until one day he left me a comment on facebook … i took my time to reply and a conversation flourished. Then in conjunction he messaged me asking for my number (not mass a one to one message) as he had lost all of his contacts … so a second conversation flourised … hahah i didn’t give him my number outright cause well i was still a bit pissed and well gotta make him work for it lol.
So yer with both these conversations going i didn’t respond immediately like i use to i remained in control and took my time {writing this i sound like such a manipulative bitch which im really not at all .. my defending of myself makes me sound even more like i am one but honestly this wasn’ the case} … by remaining with this control i was like not allowing myself to got emotionally attached sorta… i could remain happy and not get my hopes up at all this i liked however …
…. these conversations have been going for like a month or two mainly by message and with the frequency of this talking i have become involved again. I have allowed myself to get almost dependant on like getting his response … I smile when i see that i have response and i look forward to this … For this I am annoyed at myself extremely!!! … urgh I don’t like this … like i now sound like a needy poop and i don’t know its just him
…….. ahhh why? how could i?
This next bit makes me sound bitter and jealous which im not but in all my surprise was like oh you never told me i guess its cause of like how we haven’t spoken in a while cause i haven’t text you or spoke to you on fb … so that night i decided to cut contact. I just got really pissed off with how it always had to be me to send the first text of the first comment - also niggling comment my friend had made and the face she pulled when i said i always text first (this was a different guy} and yer this comment and look has stayed with me and to be fair always makes me very insecure.
What with no contact I was happy and all self assured until one day he left me a comment on facebook … i took my time to reply and a conversation flourished. Then in conjunction he messaged me asking for my number (not mass a one to one message) as he had lost all of his contacts … so a second conversation flourised … hahah i didn’t give him my number outright cause well i was still a bit pissed and well gotta make him work for it lol.
So yer with both these conversations going i didn’t respond immediately like i use to i remained in control and took my time {writing this i sound like such a manipulative bitch which im really not at all .. my defending of myself makes me sound even more like i am one but honestly this wasn’ the case} … by remaining with this control i was like not allowing myself to got emotionally attached sorta… i could remain happy and not get my hopes up at all this i liked however …
…. these conversations have been going for like a month or two mainly by message and with the frequency of this talking i have become involved again. I have allowed myself to get almost dependant on like getting his response … I smile when i see that i have response and i look forward to this … For this I am annoyed at myself extremely!!! … urgh I don’t like this … like i now sound like a needy poop and i don’t know its just him
…….. ahhh why? how could i?
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