people

the one thing i can't stand is when people don't listen to me ... or don't beleive me especially when im right and i know i am

... it really fucks me off

how could i?

Im really annoyed at myself … how could i have made myself become dependant on receiving messages from a boy … well call him JIM. So yer me and Jim were really good friends he kind of lead me on i really liked him and finally told him so… with this news he said like he liked me. A few weeks later he tells me he has a girlfriend … i was ll very shocked and like what to this news.

This next bit makes me sound bitter and jealous which im not but in all my surprise was like oh you never told me i guess its cause of like how we haven’t spoken in a while cause i haven’t text you or spoke to you on fb … so that night i decided to cut contact. I just got really pissed off with how it always had to be me to send the first text of the first comment - also niggling comment my friend had made and the face she pulled when i said i always text first (this was a different guy} and yer this comment and look has stayed with me and to be fair always makes me very insecure.

What with no contact I was happy and all self assured until one day he left me a comment on facebook … i took my time to reply and a conversation flourished. Then in conjunction he messaged me asking for my number (not mass a one to one message) as he had lost all of his contacts … so a second conversation flourised … hahah i didn’t give him my number outright cause well i was still a bit pissed and well gotta make him work for it lol.

So yer with both these conversations going i didn’t respond immediately like i use to i remained in control and took my time {writing this i sound like such a manipulative bitch which im really not at all .. my defending of myself makes me sound even more like i am one but honestly this wasn’ the case} … by remaining with this control i was like not allowing myself to got emotionally attached sorta… i could remain happy and not get my hopes up at all this i liked however …

…. these conversations have been going for like a month or two mainly by message and with the frequency of this talking i have become involved again. I have allowed myself to get almost dependant on like getting his response … I smile when i see that i have response and i look forward to this … For this I am annoyed at myself extremely!!! … urgh I don’t like this … like i now sound like a needy poop and i don’t know its just him

…….. ahhh why? how could i?

bows

there preety and new =) a little treat for myself for actually doing work

also got some amazing fabric today for my half scale coat so exctied to make it

epic madnness

although i have written quite a few blogs i have forgotton some of the past key events of awesomeness

1. eurovision party ... totally hilarious food and drink from assorted countries, everyone dressed up to represent the countries and then watchhign the true cheese that is eurovision great night and great big tv =)

2. end of sparrows which ment hardcore drinking =S

3. shocking yet surprising.. upsetting news that i am now over

4. theatre making going good started my half scale mans coat ... im makign a 1850's double breasted top coat lets say its not been easy sooo ill keep you posted

Perming

hmm tonights antics .. me .. lozzie... katie .. lauren and a perming kit!!

we have curlers, pina colada and eurovision songs this will be interesting as i have no clue how to do any thing to do with hair x x

V+A ... my new home!

As promised here a few pictures from the epic 438 that i took!

Heres the 18th century stays ... what is now know as a corest





sleeve detail





gathered niceness

WHOOOAH

yesterday we had a day trip with college to the V&A ... although this may soudn liek an ordinary day trip it wernt!!! We went into the costume STORE!! oh my fucking god actually amazing ... for the average person there is like a 5 month waiting list and we got to go in there.

Saw some like truly amazing dresses actually in love .. pictures definately coming soon

... also now contimplating a possible carrer choice as a curator ... for a bit of time anyway

Theatre making project

Official day one and already im like bellllrgh. Hate it. After what i thought was an epic idea im back to the drawing board. My idea of combining sweeney todd and jack the ripper is alreayd scraped as they were in different centuries and the coat i want to make is basically smack bang in the middle of the two.

- so not happy about this

now getting very confused and yes well i really want to give up. What is bizzare is well i made the effort to come to college today to do work and i swear ive done far more work at home over the past two days then like today now thats ironic!!!!


not happy although i found this image and well yes how awesome it will be if i can incorporate this into my final design of the theatre. Pah will be a bitch to make in model box form though ... im screwed but whats new really??

snail

get me two posts in one day .... i feel i have neglect my log so here is a pic of the flet snail i made hte other day. I was bored and wanted to put off work so i made this snail for my friend syd as i have lots of free time, i like beads so why not



Close up of sed beaded snail, with sequins and smiles =)

pocket hoops

following epic fail of my corset project.... only thing im happy about is my written work even thought that was jsut long... i did actually finish something!!

HAHAH first thing this year but ohwell it stil coutns i love their epic width even if i dind't get to make a petticoat im still riding high on the fact of the completion




how to do the written work for this project =(

General Update

Hmmmm i haven't blogged in ages as this have been preety hectic here with college work and general life hundrums but im gonna conciously make an effort to write more as well epic things keep ocurring. For one epic presents i recieved form all my greta costume friends, not only an awesome light sabre but like marie antoinette inspired necklace charms ooh yus they are amazing! - pictures coming soon

on saturday me em and matt saw owl city oooh yus on their tour we saw them perform at Shepheards Bush and i must say it was preety awesome. Loved it! hahah jamie cambell bower was there and boy does that dude have shite hair ... wish i had shouted that out ahwell no use wishing for things to happen differently. Im trying to live with no regrets and in some senses this has been achieved and well lets just say with some things ive been a lot more brave =)

General goinginson

- fancy dress part reulting as me as pikachu, yellow and everything
- broke my phone again =(
- dind't finish my corset in time
- foundation wear well lets jsut say fail!!!!!!
- epic idea for blog every day in august

Reactions

how exactly are you ment to react when someone you are so exceptionally close to, or thats what you thought tells you something scary and just like not good in general.

Pure shock, fear and hopelessness? If this had been before uni i would see them tomorrow, give them a hug and just generally be there for them, but like what can i do when theres this great distance between us to? It wasn't even something like i could have helped avert i don't think but still i now feel so hopeless. I want to give them a hug so bad yet i can't!

FUCKKKK!!!!! i literally have no clue what to do and im not going to get to see them or ages. i just hope hope hope there not on a downward spiral again cause like that was bad for the both of us the fist time, difference was like we both went through it at the same time. Although now i can kinda feel myself slipping back. I really don't think i could deal with that now, not with my pending week at college with the prospect of a 60 hour week im screwed and yer i echo my earlier sentiment FUCKKKKK!

big arse shirt

For like the past 2 and half days and then 2 days last week i have been making a period mans shirt at college. Woop Woop. it was kinda a fluke that we managed to make something, and the fact its full scale is even better really. Plus is all like ruffly, gathered with huge sleeves i love it. I must say i did ensure that i had a huge ruffle to go or the full romantic feel. Although its completely to scale using a pattern to then draft my own, wow did they turn out big.I tried my on and whey reached like my knees which was preety comical {see below} however i get a sneaky suspicion that technically im like poop in comparison to others.

I dunno...
one. i work slow but like i actually need to liek start focusing if im ever to finish anything - more on this in a mo
two. like yer i dunno i think i just lack so much experience maybe i should have done a foundation year? who knows hmmm
three. i swear im just way to picky cause like i could sew a line, ill ask someone and there like thats fine but like i just can't go on cause itll irritate me so i find myself doing the same thing constantly whilst others are just moving. why am i so phinicity? tis oh just a tad annoying

about being slow... well yer with our whole kimono project i never finished my kimono and like some people had days off and yer there further ahead of me how bad does that look. Like with this shirt some people are a day behind me or they had to wait to fabric to be washed and were at the same stage. To be fair with both projects i was very close to finishing kinda, i think im closer with the shirt but still ahhh its so just like irritating!

Great learning experience though i will admit, i really have learnt a lot over the two process

things for future reference: head down, concentrate and don't talk!!!
aim for accuracy but give myself a break me thinks

if i do these things maybe ill finish summit .. just maybe then id be happy =)



The jazzy kimono



The epic shirt

WTF?!?

seriously i don't get people, just when you think you know people they do something that jsut throws you off. Like seriously just when im like good and ok and thinking lifes on an up, even though necessarily not everythings rosy, i find something out and its like seriously WTF?!?.

Urgh, i didn't even get told by this perosn, the chances they read this is excessively slim but still i won't name and shame, i read this piece of news and i just feel like saying really? how come you haven't told me? ive made the effort with you and like this is what i see ... hmm

Hahaha i actually sound like a jealous lover and this really isn't the case but yer that person was my best friend for two years... thanks for telling me =(

SHITE!!!!

to buy or not to buy

a girl can never have to many shoes now can they and i have been in search of a new pair of black heels for sometime ... plain and simple ones especially as some of the clothes ive bought since the sales really just need plain matt heels and then i found these

ooo to buy or not to buy??

New Years ... We all know what this means .... Resolutions!

Happy New Year =) ... and happy new decaded ... fingers crossed this one will be better then the last year i think it will be seeing as im now at uni and therfore living in halls which is brilliant in itself as that means no parents woop woop!

For once i did something for new year and the festivities this year were better then last as i coudl drink woop woop. House parties really are a good way to do it methinks screw over priced clubs and all that shennaigans house parties are the way forward.

The morning after the night before, surprisingly not feeling that rough i have now compiled my final list of new year resolutions ... i make them with good hope that i may stick to them but then again i know what im life so somehow i don't think they'll be enforced all that much ... whoops

soo here it goes:

- Be more organised
- Actually do my work on times, and try and keep semi up to date
- Eat healthier (this may be easier to enforce as i have to do my own food shop well see how it goes)
- Stop bitting my nails
- Be more posotive
- Continue to walk to college
- Save my money

for now i think thats more then enough cause i doub't ill evne remember like one of them, my memory can be preety pants at times